What she knew
by beginnerwriter16
Summary: Alexis witnesses a crime but is silences from fear. What happens when they come for her but even more what happens when she knew they would come ? What happens when she is kidnapped to be kept silent ? Alexis isn't the only one kidnapped and then a slow love story begins between alexis and this other person . Chapter 17 is rated M.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer **: none of the characters are mine.**

she was scared, no terrified she knew something was going to happen it was only a matter of time. A matter of when. She saw something she shouldn't have and when she went to go tell someone she was stopped. Stopped by the threat they presented to her written on a small piece of paper.

 _"you tell anyone and were gonna do worse. Not to you but to everyone else so you can know it was all your fault."_

It was Wednesday and it has been exactly 3 days. 3 days since her life has changed. 3 days since she was no longer safe. Alexis Castle knew it was only a matter of time before they came for her they weren't going to leave her alone after all she was a witness, a loose end and they couldn't risk it. Risk her telling her dad or her dad's cop buddies. No they were coming for her. She was gonna be ready she was going to be smart. The only thing she knew how to be was smart and she was going to use it to her advantage.

It was 12:30 in the afternoon and there had been a body drop. Her and Lanie were the first on the scene just like always. When they reached the body Alexis saw who it was. It was the girl from 3 days ago. The girl who screamed out for help but Alexis couldn't do anything but run as one of the guys chased her down the street. She could've helped, but she ran.

It was one of those fight or flight moments you hear so much about.

"Hey Alexis you alright girl ?" Lanie asked across the body. The beaten body.

I can't but think if she still felt it near the end of her time. Whether she went numb or they took mercy on Germany ans gave her something to take the pain away but then I realized.

That's going to be me soon.

And then I had a horribly morbid thought.

I wonder if it's going to be like hers. Long and slow or quick and simple.

"I'm fine" I said as I gave her my usual happy smile.

That was my first lie


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer : I do not own Castle.**

It's now 2pm and I'm on my lunch break. I'm sat at the desk and I'm drawing, a little random but neccassry. Its nessacary because it's his eye. The eye of one of the man that is going to take me. If I'm going to be taken I might as well make sure I leave a few clues behind.

Beckett and my dad walk in. I look at them for a few seconds just taking everything in, all the little details I can. The way my dad's eyes shine when he is with Beckett. She hopes his eyes can still shine after she has been taken.

He smiles when he sees me looking and I smile back. He walks over and give me a light hug and for once I don't protest about being at work. Apparently that set off alarms in his head because he is pulling back and looking at me concerned.

"You alright pumpkin ?" He asks in that tone only a farther could.

The question draws the attention on Kate and Lanie and i simply nod and turn back to my drawing.

I make sure he knows what I'm doing. It's vital he knows I'm drawing. I've never drawn before.

"You drawing pumpkin ?" He asks whilst looking at the eye. "It's good."

I smile and nod. By now Kate and Lanie are looking over my shoulder and I feel a little self concious of it and move a few pages over it but apparently my overly proud farther wants to show it off and moves the paper away.

"That's good girl." Lanie says obviously trying to boost my confidence.

I sit there and wonder why I should bother about taking in compliments. Its not like I'm going to be here long anyway.

I nod again. This isn't meant to be a piece of art its meant to reveal the man who's going to eventually take me.

I look at it again and continue the shading. I'm almost done.

I'm finished within seconds and I rip it off the paper.

I stand up to move but I can't get past the semi circle of people. I take a deep breath and putting the drawing in my pocket I sat back down.

I know they're all exchanging worried looks.

It hurts to know that I'm making them worried, but they have no idea. I know I should have told them. Told them I was in danger. But I can't that puts people safety in danger.

I turn around suddenly with a happy smile on my face and turn to Detective Beckett. I don't know why I chose her but I did.

"Detective Beckett do you want to get a hot chocolate with me ?" I ask kind of timidly but I can't help it.

She looks surprised to say the least but she nods so I stand and we leave.

We're in the elevator when she turns to me and asks "Alexis are you in trouble."

I turn to her and smile and say "Nothing that I can't handle don't worry."

I surprise myself, 2 lies in one very short sentences.

I don't lie, but in one day I've told 3 lies.

That's not like me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer : I do not own Castle**

We're sat in the break room silently sipping out hot chocolate. I'm not entirely sure what I want to talk about but I know I need to talk.

"Detective Beckett" I start off hesitantly.

"Alexis you can call me Kate if you want." Beckett said trying to encourage her sensing that she was some what uncomfortable.

"Kate, say I was to give you something would you keep it safe for me ?" I said.

Kate looks surprised, she wasn't expecting this.

"Depends what" Beckett said. The concern is obvious.

"A letter...and some other little things." I say.

I can see her thinking.

"Its important." I add.

Beckett eventually nods.

"There's one condition though." I add and I see her furrow her eye brows.

"What is it ?" She asks.

"No questions, none at all. This is going to sound weird, but this letter is your and I need you to promise not to open it until it's obvious." I say, I'm getting a little worked up and I feel the desperation rising in my voice.

I see Beckett's worry further I see the questions bubbling and she's trying not to ask them.

"Alexis are you in trouble ?"

She sees me hesitate and I know she knows something is wrong.

"Kate I need you to trust me...please. I know your worried and I would be to but I'm taking precautions hence the letter. I need you to keep that letter safe lock it away if you have to but please I'm begging you keep it safe."

"Where is it Alexis."

"I'll drop it off in a couple of hours." I say and I leave. I can't stand her worried glance.

I rush back in the room after I remember something.

"You don't tell my dad okay please ? He's not ready I can't do that to him. Not now."

Beckett looks at me.

I sigh and walk closer and say in a low voice so only she can hear.

"Some thing is going to happen Kate and I'm going to need you be there for him. I need you to keep this letter safe because it is the key. I also need you to act normal for him and for me please...this is going to hurt him and it's going to hit home for him and he's going to need you more than ever."

The concern is growing and so is the curiosity.

"Trust me." I say one last time.

I surprise us both and give her a long hug before I leave.

I'm going back to the morgue. It's empty whilst Lanie goes on her lunch break and I've never been more great full.

I sit down and start writing.

Pages and pages later and a knew drawing of his lips and a different set of eyes I'm finished.

I put a small 2 on the back of the new set of eyes so they don't get mixed up with the other set I've already drawn. I also write on the back of them both _'his eyes.'_


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.**

I'm finished. I've written my letters I've done my drawings and it all suddenly feels very real.

 _Open when..._ Is written on the front, and I'm in the elevator on the way up to the homicide floor the envelope hugged tightly to me. I get off the elevator and see everyone is around the whiteboard. When I say everyone I mean everyone the captain, dad, Kate, Esposito, Kevin, hell even Lanie and I wonder why she's there as I walk towards them. _Deep breath in, deep breath out._ I tell myself as I walk closer and closer.

Kate sees me and there's that look of worry and concern. I regret having to do this now but I can't waste no more time. I have no more time and I'm terrified.

Suddenly everyone is looking at me and I can't look them in the eyes. I step right up to Kate I hold out the envelope face down so nobody sees what I've written on the front. She takes it and turns it over which was a mistake I personally think because now everyone saw it and the looks are heartbreaking I turn to leave but I'm stopped by a hand on my shoulder and I turn to look at my dad. He's scared, you can tell his eyes aren't shinning like they usually do.

"Alexis" He says on a breath.

I turn and pull him into a hug trying to hold back my tears, I can see everyone over my dad's shoulder and I turn my head so I can whisper "Listen to Kate dad. I'll understand daddy but I need y you to do the same. I love you daddy."

Castle felt like that sounded like a goodbye. _Why was his baby saying goodbye ?_

I turn and start walking away. It feels like a goodbye. I want to turn around and take one last look but I can't I know I can't. I turn around as the elevator doors closed. They've all gathered at the end of the hallway where the elevator is. They're all staring at me. The doors are closing and it's then in that moment when I let go and let the tears fall. I can see the pain in my dad's eyes and I can't take it I lean back and I'm sobbing. I'm grateful for the 30 seconds I get to break down in the elevator but by the time the elevator stops and the doors are opening I'm on my feet eyes dry and a smile on my face.

I have a startling realization.

Tonight _is_ the night.

I stand there thinking before I step onto the busy new york streets.

Then I say a silent apology.

 _I'm sorry to leave daddy._

Then I'm gone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.**

The room is dark as I wake up and I can't see anything just a bed in the corner. I look around and I try to see something else, something that might suggest where I am.

I see a metal door and I run to it but just as I go to slam by fists against it, it slams open knocking me off my feet and onto the floor.

A tall man walks towards me and drags me up and pulls me to my feet, he's dragging me out of the dark rrom and I try to pull back and I try to resist.

After we turn a few time we are in a room, well a ring it appears like people box in and there is people standing around betting most probably. I'm pushed into the ring and another person appears and I realize I'm expected to fight.

I try to exit the ring but I'm pushed right back into the ring and I fall. A bell rings and the other person runs at me and punches me in the stomach and I double over whilst I'm doubled over they hit me in the face with the elbow and I feel my face start bleeding and then they kick me and I fall. I'm close to tears but they won't stop they keep kicking me in my side. I can't take the pain any more and I black out. As I lose conciousness I hear cheering and then nothing.

I wake up again in the dark room and I am in so much pain I can barely breath because of it.

I hear a noise on the other side of the room and I see a tall man, he stands and walks towards me whilst saying "You got another fight tonight." Then he walks out. I couldn't place his accent.

His words click a moment later and I don't know how I am going to fight I can barely breath.

I stand and I fall to the ground. I need to get moving so it will hopefully hurt less.

I'm taken to the ring again different crowd, different person.

I stand there and when the bell rings he comes running towards me. He is tall and muscular. I punch him in the gut when he runs at me and it stops his movement momentarily and I take the chance to hit hit in the face then stomach again and then elbow him on the back of the neck. I'm in so much pain but I can't take another hit.

I stomp on his stomach taking his breath away and I see him loose conciousness.

I feel terrible, I've just beaten a man and I'm in pain.

I never thought my life would turn out like this.

A man comes up to me and the crowd cheers.

I don't smile.

I can't smile.

Why won't they kill me already ?

I don't want this kind of life.

Back at the 12th precinct things were heavy they heard about Alexis' kidnapping and everyone was trying to find her.

"She was taken barely out of the precinct basically on our doorstep and we don't stop it. I don't get it." Esposito said

"Video footage shows that she was saying something." Ryan said going over the video again.

And thats when everyone realized that Alexis knew.

She knew she was gonna be taken.

She knew she could possible die tonight.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N : okay so im gonna change this up a bit sorry i haven't updated this in a while.**

Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.

Alexis has been there three days alone in the dark room. No more fights either.

Alexis is staring at the wall imagining what her dad might be doing, whether theyve read the letters yet or have they completely forgotten about them.

The big, old, metal door flies open and a man throws in a boy. He lands hard on the floor and it makes Alexicringe but then hhe's standing and yelling to let him out. Alexis feels sorry for this person her first day here she would scream at that door for hours sometimes she still does out of anger, she figured out last night that it was sound proof.

AThe stranger stops screaming and he looks around for the first time they see each other face to face. Alexis realizes that this man must be iolder then her he has pale skin and long dark hair that falls to his shoulders he has blue eyes, not like her dads, no his were darker but no less brighter. He's wearing dark clothes and has a lip piercing, she's not sure if its fake or real. To any other person he would look like a goth, but to Alexis he just looks scared and sad.

He steps forward and nods to the bed next to her, the only thing in the room except for the sink and toilet. Alexis nods back and he sits down slowly and hesitantly.

"I'm Alexis" Alexis says in a quiet voice not sure if he is gonna reply. he doesn't so she continues. "I've been here 3 days, they've made me fight 4. I'm 17 and I just want to go home but I know they won't let me."

She finishes on a breath, a shaky breath and a single tear. She's surprised she can still cry she would have thought after 3 days of crying there would be no more tears left.

"I'm Timothy but my parents call me Timmy, please don't call me that. I'm 18 and I have no friends and I'm not saying that for sympathy I'm saying that because I don't really know how to talk to people who aren't my parents. I know why I'm here though and if they want me to fight then they are going to be sorely disappointed because i can't fight." He finishes, he didn't once look at Alexis just kept staring at the wall.

Alexis sticks out her hand for him to shake and he does "Nice to meet you Tim." She says.

"Likewise Alexis."

There is silence and thats when Alexis decides to say her thoughts out loud hoping that Tim can make sense of some of them.

"I think they are going to make us forget, I don't know what they want us to forget."

"Agreed." He says quietly.

"I know why they took me to." Alexis says. "I witnessed them kill someone."

"Me to" He says.

Alexis turns her head towards him "In an alley ?"

He nods.

"Tim I think we witnessed the same murder."

"Alexis I'm scared."

"Me to Tim."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N : Okay so sorry for changing some things but I am now changing Alexis' age to 16 but Tim will remain at the age of 18.**

 **Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.**

Its bee an hour since Tim was thrown into the dark room with Alexis and its been mostly silent.

The tall man walked into the room slamming the metal door open, he walked over to the bed towards Tim and grabbed him, Tim tried to resist him but the man continued to grab his arm and pulled him out of the room.

Alexis watched from the bed wanting to do something but knew that if she tried she would end up unconscious. Alexis could here Tim's yelling until the door was then slammed closed and a single tear rolled down Alexis' face.

Tim was thrown back into the room and hour later bruised and bloody. Alexis rushed off of the bed to help him, he was mumbling random words that Alexis couldn't make sense of.

Alexis helped him stand and walked him slowly towards the bed and went to the sink to get the single cloth laying beside it and wet it with warm water and rushed back over to him. Alexis wipped the blood of off his face.

Alexis sat beside him kneeling on the floor next to his head and watched as he slowly fell asleep. She knew she would have to wake him every couple of hours in case he has a concussion because of the gash on his forehead.

The man came back in but for Alexis this time.

 _Time to fight again_ she thought.

The man brought her to the ring she has always fought in, she thinks it like she has been doing this for years but in reality its only been three days.

Alexis knows how this goes, you don't go down, you find a weakness, and then you pounce.

 _I don't feel like Alexis anymore._

 _I'm not happy._

 _I never expected my life to go like this._

Alexis eyes the man they put in the ring with her. He's tall. _They're always tall._ She thinks to herself. He's muscular but he has a limp on his left side. Alexis knows where she is going to hit first.

The match starts and Alexis walks right up to him feigning her confidence. _If you act confidant then they think you are._ She thinks.

Alexis slams her foot on his left knee with full power and there is a sickening crunch but it doesn't bother her. She elbows the back of his neck and he falls whimpering. Alexis says a silent apology.

 _Show no weakness. Then survive._

The man comes into the ring and holds her hand up showing she has won. People are cheering and Alexis just looks straight on.

Her eyes don'rt shine anymore.

They are leading her back to the room, all the walls in this place is concrete.

When they reach the door the man hands her a sharpie and simply says "Your gonna be here a while might as well decorate the place." He leaves with an evil sneer but not before pushing her into the room and throwing the sharpie in after her.

Tim opens his eyes when he hears the door and looks up.

Alexis is standing up and holding the sharpie, she turns to him and says "Tim I have an idea."

And in that instant he knows that he can trust Alexis with his life.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.**

"And that would be..." Tim questioned still lying on the bed.

"All in good time Tim my ol' pal..." Alexis replied.

"We haven't even known each other a day I'm not sure you can call us ol' pals"

"Logic, all this logic, if were gonna be here a while might as well get used to each other, so as I was saying ol' pal first how are you and then on with the plan."

"Oh you mean besides being beaten up I'm peachy, jeesh it's like high school all over again."

"Okay so were going to come back to that you have my word but on with the plan, mw-hahahaha."

"Alexis have you lost it ?" Tim asked getting a bit worried.

"No hopefully not but as I was saying, on with the plan." And with that Alexis held up the pen with a flourish.

"This Tim is a sharpie and permanent marker, and since they are planing on making us forget we are going to write our names and people we can trust on ourselves where they can't see obviously so that way when we forget we know who we can trust if someone was to come rescue us." Alexis finished with a brilliant smile on her face.

"How'd you get a pen ?"

"Really that's the but you are questioning." Alexis says raising an eyebrow her hand on her hip. _That was kinda Beckett like_. Alexis thinks and with that thought she laughs and Tim is just looking at her as if she is crazy but then a slow smile starts to form on his face at her hysterical laughing at what he doesn't know but her laugh, _gosh that laugh it's amazing_ and Tim just sits there smiling at her and her hysterical laughing.

Alexis walks over to the bed after she has stopped laughing and she motions for him to move his feet and he does but not much, it hurts for him to move, and she sits down nearly leaning on his knees.

"So Tim where do you wonna write your name and the people you trust ?" Alexis asked.

He motions for the pen and write his name on his stomach and the people he can trust _Timothy Bloth, Age : 18, Parents : Beverly and Greg Bloth._ When he is done he hands Alexis the pen. Alexis does the sam on her stomach to _Alexis Castle, Age 16, Parents Richard Castle, People to trust : K. Beckett, K. Ryan, J. Esposito, L. Parish, M. Rodgers._

Alexis looks at Tim "How are you feeling ?"

"Okay I guess." Tim says avoiding her eyes.

"They made you fight didn't they ?"

Tim nods his head.

"They make me fight to just remember never go down, find their weakness and pounce. If you act confident they think your confident it throws them off a little." Alexis says whilst staring at the wall.

"Alexis do you think we'll get out of here ?" Tim says in a quiet voice.

"Tim." Alexis says waiting for him to look at her " I know"

"How ?" Tim asks with questioning eyes.

"Because Timmy my boy I believe that this could be our little adventure to freedom." And Alexis smiles at him trying to believe her own words.

"Urghh don't call me Timmy." He says whilst tipping his head back pretending to be annoyed and they both end up laughing.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.**

"Tim you said it was like high school all over again what did you mean ?" Alexis asked an hour later hesitantly.

"When I was in high school I was the kind of kid people hated for no reason and people picked on me for no reason, even got beaten up a few times, high school wasn't the time of my life like it most probably is for you." Tim said, his voice full of sadness.

"High school isn't the time of my life." Alexis said a bit of anger in her voice at Tim assuming this about her. Tim raises his eyebrows waiting for her to continue.

"Tim you may not believe this but I don't actually have friends." Alexis looked away from Tim. "When ever I tell my dad I'm going out with "friends"" Alexis made air quotes around the word friend. " I actually went to the library and when I'm at school people avoid me for no reason and they call me names. No one at school would care that I've been kidnapped."

"If it helps I'm your good ol' pal."

"We've only know each other a day though."

"Logic all this logic."

And with that they both became friends.

The tall man enters and goes straight to Tim.

He grabs Tim's arm and pulls him out again.

The door closes.

Alexis sits there and just stares at the door waiting for Tim to come back.

Alexis fell asleep waiting for Tim so when he came back in the room he had to wake her up.

She was curled into a ball on the floor.

"Alexis." He said quietly gently shaking her. "Alexis." He said louder when she didn't wake. "Alexis" She woke up the third time.

"Tim how are you ? Did you win ? How are you ?" Alexis was asking questions one after the other.

"I'm good, yes and no." Tim helped Alexis up off of the floor and they slowly made their way over to the bed. They both stared at it.

"Tops and tails ?" Tim asked and Alexis nodded.

"We're going to be alright aren't we Tim ?" Alexis asked needing reassurance.

"I know." Tim replied and with that they both fell asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.**

 **At the precinct :**

Alexis has been gone overnight and no one has gone home, no one realized how much of an impact Alexis had on the precinct but apparently she was cared for a lot more that anybody really knew.

The van in which Alexis had been taken in had been ditched in a blind alley and swapped for another one trouble is there are no car tracks and no footage to show the make, model or anything they were all lost. Everyone was either on the phone or going through footage again trying to see something no one else did.

"What was in the envelope..." Beckett questioned some hours later. And that's when it all clicked what Alexis had been saying.

Beckett rushed to her desk from the break room to open her draw. Beckett couldn't find her key where it usually was, by now everyone was looking at her, Beckett started hitting her desk anything she could do to open it.

"Beckett what are you doing ?" Castle said in an exhausted tone, he's been crying for hours.

"The envelope Alexis gave me, she said it was he key, it said open when, gosh dammit why won't the draw open already !" Beckett said standing up and full on kicking her desk draw which splintered and all that was left was a hole i the draw.

Beckett reached in and took the envelope out and opening it, well more like tearing the envelope in half without damaging anything inside. All the pages fell out, Alexis' drawings, her letters, everything. Beckett and Castle dropped to the floor to try and gather everything up. When they got everything they scrambled to their feet and rushed to Beckett's desk.

"Castle there's a letter addressed to you here." Beckett said handing Castle the smaller envelope.

Castle opened the letter and there were instant tears in his eyes.

 _Dear Daddy,_

 _If your reading this I'm most probably gone by now, I'm sorry I had to leave I didn't want to._

 _I was taken because I witnessed a murder a few days ago, one of the murders you and Beckett have been investigating, I can't remember why I was walking past that alley but I was and I heard the girl scream daddy I went to see what was wrong and there were these tall men there, scary men and I ran, I ran as fast as I could but they caught me and they threatened me said if I told anybody they would do something and make sure they knew it was my fault. I couldn't risk them hurting you or anybody else._

 _In this envelope you will find drawings of the people who most probably took me._

 _I trust you will try your hardest daddy but if your too late I need you to know I love you and I am so grateful for all the things you do for me no matter how embarrassed or angry I seem I appreciate it._

 _If you don't find me I hope you and Kate are happy together, I know you guys are going to end up married._

 _Dad I want you to move on if you can't find me don't try looking for me constantly and forget to live because dad nothing would pain me more then knowing you didn't live because of me._

 _Make sure no one forgets me please just a single memory is always enough whether its a good memory or a bad memory. I know you have enough memories to share with everyone._

 _I'm going to quote Beckett here "Don't be so caught up in the past you forget to live."_

 _I love you daddy and don't worry we'll see each other again someday...somehow._

 _Love always your grateful daughter,_

 _Alexis xx_

By the end of reading Alexis' letter Castle was sobbing, he couldn't bare the thought of never seeing Alexis again.

 _Dear Kate,_

 _I know we don't know each other that well but Dads always talking about you and how your the best. So, I hear forth give you my case._

 _I know your going to read dads letter so there is no point in me telling you this stuff._

 _Kate I din't have much time, I was a liability to these people._

 _I am entrusting you with my farther's heart and I want you to make sure he lives make sure he doesn't fall down a rabbit hole like you once did._

 _I never told you this but I look up to you so I summoned my inner detective and put this envelope together, I found a loop hole._

 _Kate please keep my farther living even if you have to drag him out of the loft or where ever make sure he doesn't loose his one of a kind out look on life._

 _Love always,_

 _Alexis xx._

Kate couldn't believe this, Alexis made sure they knew all this stuff, she risked everything to make sure they did. Kate looked over to Castle she walked over to him and hugged him whispering in his ear, "You have a very smart girl Castle she might have just cracked this whole case wide open."


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.**

When Alexis and Tim wke up they weren't in the dark room, they were in a white one, like the ones you see on TV everything's white. They are laying down on white beds to but strapped down like the do at the hospital.

Alexis was the first to wake up slowly at first and then frantically looking around wondering where she is. She sees Tim and starts shouting at him "Tim ! Tim !" He wakes after a few minutes and he to starts to struggle looking around frantically.

A man walks into the room not a tall man, just an ordinary man one you would pass on the street without thinking about it.

"Who are you ?" Alexis asks.

"I am your doctor."

"What doctor ?" Its Tim's turn to ask questions now.

"You will be receiving an injection today."

"What kind of injection." Alexis and Tim are taking it in turns to ask questions without really realizing they are doing it.

"Uhhh I thought they said you two would be unconscious during the injections." Alexis and Tim looked at each other. "You two will be getting an injection and you will not argue do you understand now shut up and let me do my job."

"Its going to make us forget everything isn't it."Alexis asked worried.

The man looks angry now and goes to Alexis first. He pulls her hair away from her neck and injects her with a clear liquid. Alexis hisses at the pain but soon passes out because of the stuff he injected her with. He walked to Tim neck and done the same.

The were both asleep for half an hour when they woke up they were both fuzzy and confused. Memories completely gone, the only thing they both remember is each other.

"Excuse me..." Alexis says quietly to the man who looked like the doctor. He was small with grey hair and hunched over.

"Yes deary..." He said.

"Can you please tell us where we are?"

"Your at a training camp deary you fell and hit your head during and exercise don't you remember ?"

Alexis shook her head no.

"I'm doctor Waltner I'm going to be looking after you."

Alexis nods. She looks to the side and sees Tim.

"Is Tim going to be okay ?"

"Yes deary."

Tim begins to stir and looks at Alexis. "Lexi are you okay ?"

"Yeah are you ?" Tim nods.

Dr waltner walks out of the room with a sickening smile on his face. There is a tall man in the hall way, the man that collects them for the fights.

"Its done, they have forgotten everything.

"Good."

The tall man walks into the white room and looks at Alexis and Tim "You two alright you gave us quite the scare." He says with false worry.

"Yeah we're fine sir-" Tim is cut off by the tall man.

"Tim I thought I told you to call me ."

was tall, bold and pale he had muscles bulging out of his shirt.

indicated for to follow him out of the hall way.

"You need to plant as many false memories as possible otherwise they will question everything, you hear me everything, we can only influence the human mind so much until they figure it out."

"Their room is finished it shouldn't be too hard from there."

"You don't understand how the human mind works the just one slip up and this whole thing is blown." The doctor argues.

"Doctor you just do your job and I'll do mine."

Mann walked back into the white room and looked at Alexis and Tim. "You two ready for your haircuts ?"

Alexis and Tim looked at each other confused.

"Did you two forget... you guys booked them earlier this week said the long hair was annoying you guys." Mann said with a chuckle.

Alexis and Tim both had a vision of them outside saying just that. They didn't know it wasn't real.

"Oh yeah I remember now." Tim said.

They both got up from their bed a little wobbly at first but fine after a few minutes and followed Mann out of the white room and down the hallway to a room where single chair was.

"Alexis you first." Mann said indicating to the chair.

Alexis sat down without thought thinking that she did indeed want a hair cut. Mann walked over to her and picked up a pair of scissors and started cutting her hair until it was all just above her shoulder. He held up a mirror for her and asked "Well hun what do you think ?"

Alexis looked at herself in the mirror smiling "It's perfect thank you." She said getting up from the chair.

"Timmy your next." Alexis said. Something ticked in Tim he didn't know what so he just shrugged it off as nerves.

Mann picked up the scissors again and began cutting until Tim's hair was short at the side but a little longer on the top.

"Wow Timmy you actually have ears" Alexis said laughing, Tim just stuck his tongue out at her and chuckled at her ridiculousness.

"Come on you two back to your room you have a fight tonight."

And with that they both obeyed never second guessing and never hesitating. Thinking that this was what they always did. They were brainwashed.

 **A/N : Okay so what do you guys think ?**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.**

When Alexis and Tim had reached the dark room a few things had changed, but of course neither of them had noticed. There was a radio just a simple black one, and a schedule on the door it was the same for everyday.

 _5:30 - Running_

 _7:30 - Breakfast._

 _8:00 - boxing in the gym._

 _10:30 - knife throwing practice._

 _12:00 - lunch_

 _13:00 - tactical training._

 _14:00 - shooting range._

 _15:30 - hand to hand combat._

 _17:00 - dinner._

The day was full and busy, Alexis and Tim thinking they do this everyday. There are two new pens on the bed one green and one blue both sharpies.

Tim walks over to the bed and picks up the green sharpie and walks over to the wall he started drawing, not anything in particular just doodling.

"Hey Timmy what ya drawing ?" Alexis said in a too sweet voice obviously up to something, she's standing by his side by now, she's rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet.

"Nothing really lexis." Tim replied distractedly.

Tim continues to draw until its obvious what he is drawing. Its a tree. A beautiful cherry blossom tree.

Alexis stands there just watching him awestruck. Tim draws for another haalf hour until his tree is half done. He stops and Alexis frowns.

"What ya doing Tim ? Why you stop ?"

"I'll finish it later."

"Its beautiful Tim." Alexis says still breathless.

Alexis stares at it for a few more minutes until she suddenly moves towards the radio turning it on. Trying to find a channel with a good song. She stops suddenly when she hears an Olly Murs song. Something about that song made her stop she didn't know what it was like and instinct of sorts. It brings a familiar feeling this song, she finds it hard to explain so she puts it at the back of her mind until later.

"This is a good song." Says Tim.

"Yeah me to." Alexis said slowly, cautiously not being able to shake that feeling that something was wrong.

Something was so very wrong.

Alexis swayed to the music for a bit just wondering, swaying, thinking.

 _Why do I feel like this ?_

 _Why does this not feel real ?_

 _Its real._

 _Isn't it ?_

"Do you know what movie I suddenly want to watch." Tim says out of the blue.

Alexis turns her head quickly her shoulder length hair flying over her shoulder and she looks at Tim eyebrows furrowed in a question.

"And what movie would that be ?" Alexis asks in a silly way, chuckling at his randomness.

"Mulan, I love that movie." Tim says.

"Same do you know who my favorite character is ?" Alexis says.

"I don't know but mine is Mooshoo." Tim says.

"You are one lucky bug." They both say in unison, the pause and stare at each other and simultaneously break into laughter holding each other to stay up in their fits of laughter.

Their suddenly interrupted by Mr Mann coming through the door.

"Come on Tim its fight time."


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.**

They both win the fight. Alexis is starting to get a reputation, because she elbows people on the back of the neck. She's fierce in the ring and everybody knows it. Its only been 4 days since she first started fighting but to Alexis it feels like a life time.

They are back in the dark room when they are settling down laying tops and tails on the bed, Alexis on one end Tim on the other. Tim's feet are in Alexis face no matter where she moves he always finds a way to stick them in her face, he thinks its funny, she thinks its gross.

"Tim move your freakin' feet they stink !" Alexis sits up suddenly exclaiming annoyed.

Tim sits up laughing but stops suddenly looking at Alexis' stomach. He could see something on her stomach. Black ink. He reaches out to see what it is but Alexis slaps his hand away.

"no Lexi you have something on your stomach." Tim says.

Alexis looks down and sees it to. She lifts her top a centimeter higher and more black ink is exposed.

"Their names." Tim says confused.

"Yeah but whose names ? I don't know these people, do I ?" Alexis says worriedly looking up.

Tim looks up at her and says in a strong voice "Lexi read what it says."

And she does. Alexis reads it not just one or twice but four times just to be sure.

"Tim whats going on ?" Alexis asked, when Tim looked into her eyes he saw fear and sadness.

"Lexi why are you sad ?" Tim asks.

"I don't know I just feel indescribably sad." Alexis finishes on a sniffle and a single tear rolls from her eye down her pale cheek and lands softly on the blanket.

Tim opens his arms to her and she crawls from her end of the bed and into his arms and cries on his shoulder. She doesn't know why she is crying but she knows there must be a reason she just has to find it.

"Everything is going to be okay." Tim whispers soothingly to her.

Alexis removes herself from Tim's strong and supportive arms and looks straight into his eyes, "Tim I've been getting this funny feeling ever since we woke up in the white room, I feel like none of this is real...do you know what I mean ?" Alexis stares into his eyes hoping for anything, a flash of recognition, of truth or understanding. Just anything.

"Lexi...I feel exactly the same way." Tim says and his eyes show a light of determination, and then a slow smile starts to form on his face.

Alexis suddenly realizes something. "Tim did you write anything ?" Alexis asked curiously.

They both simultaneously look at Tim's stomach and he slowly lift his top to look and there also in black ink was all the things he needed to know. Their suspicions were true and they suddenly realized it. Nothing was real.

They both look at each other with fear in their eyes. "Lexi I think were in trouble."

"Tim I think I'm going to have to agree." Alexis says.

They sat there for a while in a fearful silence.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.**

At the precinct there was process, just not the good kind. Since reading Alexis' letters and putting her drawings in the system they found who Alexis' was drawing. The problem was they were dead, killed by whoever was higher up in the chain then them. Everyone was getting frustrated and everyone feared for Alexis', Rick was barely holding it together either crying his eyes out or yelling at people but no one held it against him, he was a scared parent.

Kate was going through Alexis' envelope again which was surprisingly full and she came across a letter, a letter addressed to Nikki H. Kate sat there thing of all the possibilities, did Alexis know a Nikki ? Or was it addressed to her. Kate decided to open and was proved right, it was addressed to her.

 _Dear Kate,_

 _If your reading this it means your going over the evidence which must mean my drawings weren't of any help, I knew it would be unlikely but I had to hope. Kate there is more evidence there is more stuff, I just couldn't risk putting it in this envelope in case something happened to it._

 _I'm the daughter of a mystery novelist, therefore I am semi-trained to think and act like one, I hope I'm making you guys proud with my skills and I'm hoping I'm helping. If' I'm alive when you guys find me I'm going to make you so many thank you cookies you'll be sick of them. I have to stay on topic I don't have much time, I'm writing this whilst Lanie is on her lunch and lets be honest she is unpredictable when it comes to her lunches, she can be either an hour or ten minutes. I'm babbling, can you babble on paper ? If not I must be the first._

At this Kate laughed and Rick looked at her frowning when he saw she was reading something, he went over to her and leaned over her should a little to see what she was reading when he saw the other letter he couldn't help reading along with her.

 _Dad is most probably reading over your shoulder, he done that whilst I was texting once and lets just say we were both a bit embarrassed but he never learns his lesson._

 _As I've said before I was threatened and I was scared and I will admit I should have told someone but I was scared for everyone's safety, people always say how mature I am but they forget I'm still only 16 and I can only be so mature. The piece of paper they wrote the threat on is in my room in a sandwich bag in my drawer, so are the clothes I was wearing, they grabbed my arm to stop me._

 _Kate I was so scared, I didn't know what to do. I used the one thing I knew how to use and that was to use my knowledge. 'Knowledge is power.' Don't tell Dad this but when I'm 18 I'm getting that as a tattoo._

When Kate read this she heard Castle mutter a low "no she's not." And she rolled her eyes at him.

 _I think there is more stuff but it will all be in my room, dad won't want anyone in my room in case you guys never find me but its my room and I say you can go in just please be careful of Monkey Bunkey if dad hasn't been cuddling him already._

 _And to dad because I know your reading this I am sorry for whatever you find in my room and stop reading over people's shoulders it rude._

 _To both of you wake up and date each other already everyone can see it. So, if you won't listen to anybody face to face maybe this letter will help. If I come back and you guys aren't together yet I will not be one very happy person._

 _Now I love you both,_

 _Always,_

 _Alexis xx_

When Castle and Beckett finished reading Alexis' latter they both had small smiles on their faces, tears in their eyes, and blushes on their cheeks.

"That was a lot of emotions all at once." Kate said.

"I would say I have to agree." Castle said still staring at the letter.

after a short pause Castle said quietly "I can't believe my daughter is playing match maker."

Back at the dark room Tim and Alexis was trying to figure out what was going on, they had talked through everything they remember, which was not a lot. Who they thought the names might mean. They talked everything out and deciding on one mutual thing. They were in danger.

"Okay Alexis I think we just need to act like we don't know anything, I think it would be the safer option." When Alexis started to protest, Tim held up a hand indicating that he wasn't done. "So then when we do have a chance we have the element of surprise. No matter what we keep these names we go over them when they start to fade. Do you understand ?" Tim said seriously.

Alexis silently nodded looking around the room, still thinking of anything to do with the names.

"Tim what if we never get out ? What if were here forever ?" Alexis said.

Tim just let out a small sympathetic sigh and just motioned for her to come closer to him. He took her hands and looked into her blue glistening eyes full of tears "Alexis I will make sure you get out of here." Tim said pulling her into a hug.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.**

 **There is a little time jump but only a few days.**

 **I'm about to sound like a bad writer but I'm not sure how long they have been taken so in this time jump they are now on Wednesday and I'm gonna say they have been gone for a week and a half.**

They've been gone a week and a half. They've known something wasn't right for 4 days. Its a Wednesday and its cold the room has no heating and no windows only around 10 2cm holes right at the top of the wall, where they can't reach and nobody would see.

Alexis and Tim was told they had a fight tonight and if they didn't win they were just going to get a can of beans to share.

"I used to like beans but I'm not too entirely fond of them now." Tim said out of the blue. It had been silent since they were told about the fight.

Mr Mann has been acting differently, for the past couple of days he was nice and now hes suddenly mean, talking to them like they are nothing and only feeding them properly when they are fed.

"I guess Manns true colors are coming out." Alexis said quietly, doodling on the wall, nothing big just flowers.

Tim looked over at Alexis to see what she was doing and walked over to her and sat down beside her.

Alexis stopped drawing and looked over at him.

"Tim we need to get out before they figure out that we know something isn't right."

Tim continued to look at Alexis sensing she wasn't finished.

"I'm scared Tim, I may not seem it but every time I go into the ring I'm terrified. I don't want to be scared anymore Tim." Alexis said with tears in her eyes.

"Alexis I will get you out of here I promise. Now we are going to act normal because everything will be fine. Your my Lexi."

"And your my Timmy ol' pal." Alexis finished.

At some point in the past week Alexis and Tim had developed some sort of close friendship and they had given each other these nicknames without realizing it. They often had long talks about anything and everything or they would sit in a comfortable silence and sometimes they would put the radio on, which they got to keep when they won a fight, they would dance and sing and be silly, just enjoying themselves and trying to forget about everything that happened, that their reality isn't real and they have no idea what is.

"Tim please don't leave me. Promise you won't leave me." Alexis said in a hurried tone getting panicked.

"I won't Alexis I won't" Tim said trying to calm her down but she wouldn't. She moved onto her knees and moved further away from him. She was frowning with a determined look on her face. Tim when to put his hand on her arm but she shrugged her shoulder resulting in his hand landing on the floor.

"No Tim whenever you mention getting out you only say me you never say us. WE will get out. I won't leave you." Alexis said with a new determination in her voice.

Tim just stared at her for a long while and Alexis just stared back her stare never wavering. After an unknown time both lost in each others eyes without realizing it, Tim nodded and Alexis fell into his arms silent tears rolling down her cheeks.

Alexis stopped sobbing a few days ago nit seeing the point, all she had left were silent tears.

Its 6 o clock and its time for their fight. They watch at the side lines waiting for each other to finish.

Alexis was against 2 people tonight, she had started to fight more people a few nights ago and apparently according to Mann she was a natural.

They both ran towards her at the same time, both over six foot and bulging muscles on their arms.

Alexis stared at them with panicked eyes caught in the middle. She decided to risk it she went for one guy first. The one on her left she walked towards him at a fast pace and punched him in the throat not fast enough to cause permanent damage just enough to stop him. He dropped to his knees and lifted her knee to his face and knocked him out. The guy who was on her right grabbed her around her neck and for a short moment Alexis felt a wave of panic wash over. She scracted at his arm trying to get him to loosen his grip but he didn't he held on tighter. He vision started to blur but she caught Tim's eye and held it. She took a deep breath and mustered up all her strength. She hunched forward throwing him off balance with the surprise of it and the force. His grip loosened and she used that as an opportunity to reach her elbow up and brake his nose. There was blood everywhere. He stumbled back and Alexis stomped towards him with a new ferocity. She swung her leg up and kicked him in the face, he fell to the floor and to finish things off she stomped on his stomach.

 _When did I turn int this person ?_ Alexis thinks. She looks around and sees everyone looking at her cheering her on.

It was Tim's turn. He only had one person though. He wasn't on the same level as Alexis. He used Alexis' tactics though find a week spot, appear confident and hit first, don't go down. He made it out of the ring with a bruised lip but he won and Alexis was cheering him on enthusiastically.

She was always so proud of him and it was strange she barely knows this person but she feels like she's known him for years.

Tim comes out of the ring and walks towards her, Mann leads them back to their room same as always. He stops them at the door and hands them a sheet of paper.

"New schedule get used to it, were starting it tomorrow." He said rudely and walked away again but not before closing the door behind them.

It was a night schedule, only running and boxing was in the morning and tactics. They had their gun shooting lessons in the evening around 6pm and knife throwing lessons and close combat was at 6:30pm-10pm It was long but they had a long rest between their morning sessions and evening lessons.

"Tim what do you think about this ?" Alexis asked uneasy.

"I think we'll do just fine." Tim said putting an arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his side. And that's how they fell asleep sitting on the bed leaning against the wall, Alexis' head on his shoulder and his arm around her shoulders.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.**

It was early and cold, around 5:30am, the room doesn't have clocks and very few rooms in this place does. If Alexis or Tim was asked to describe the place they were being held captive they would both say plain and cold but in reality it was a basement. Well, not really a basement it was much larger it was like an underground home making it difficult for anyone to find and for them to escape.

"Rise and shine !" Mann shouted at Alexis and Tim who were sleeping next to each other Alexis' head still on Tim shoulder and Tim's arm still tightly around Alexis' shoulders.

Alexis and Tim startled awake. Alexis instincts had her jumping off the bed and preparing her fists like she was about to fight, left foot inform of her right and her left fist held further out them her right. She was in a fighting stance. Her eyes were moving around wildly looking for the interruption. Tim was on the bed looking around wildly sat on the edge of the bed, his instincts weren't as good as Alexis' but they were good enough. When they both saw Mann stood in the middle of the room observing them they both stopped being defensive, even though his presence was ringing alarm bells Alexis managed with difficulty to lower her fists.

Tim stood up from the bed and walked to Alexis standing slightly in front of her from the side almost shielding her from him. You wouldn't have noticed it at first but under close observation Tim was protecting Alexis from Mann.

"Interesting" Mann said, drawing out the word and stroking at a none existent beard. When he realized what he was doing he dropped his arms and folded them tightly over his chest his white shirt tightening.

"Did we miss a lesson Mann ?" Tim asked trying to act normal it must have worked because Mann looked like he didn't find anything different about him or off.

"No i just woke you guys up because we will be starting in half an hour and I brought you a new t-shirt." He said holding out two plain black shirts both were long sleeves.

Tim stepped forward to accept them "Thank you" he said.

Mann looked at Alexis and squinted at her as if analyzing her.

"What up with you this morning huh ?" Mann said in a disgruntled tone moving forward. Alexis stepped back but Tim moved forward.

Alexis went to speak but Tim beat her to it "She's tired, she didn't feel great last night." Tim said. Mann looked towards Alexis to see if this was true and she nodded quickly, eyes wide and panicked. Mann continued to squint at her until he walked out a few minutes later.

Doctor Waltner was stood outside waiting for Mann to come out.

"Well do they seem different ?" Dr Waltner asked nearly as soon as he came out of the room locking it behind him.

"Something doesn't seem right..." Mann said.

The doctor got annoyed at Mann for this and soon stepped into his space. The doctor was not afraid of Mann even though he was a good few inches smaller. The doctor pointed a hand at Mann and occasionally poked him whilst speaking.

"Now listen to me now boy, I have put too much into this to fail and because you think your all that and Mr tough guy you don't listen to ME ! I told you the human mind was not easy to trick and you take that caution and throw it in the wind. No ! You fix this and you fix it now !" The doctor said the last few words so low and dangerous it could make the hair stand up at the back of anyone's neck.

Mann didn't find Waltner scary or threatening and simply said in a low voice also "You listen to me old man you don't tell me what to do, If you have a problem with how I run things then tough you work for me and now the other way around so I suggest you go work up something better and stop them from remembering." Mann walked away angrily muttering under his breath.

Back in the dark room Tim was pacing and Alexis was standing deadly still, shaken up about nearly being caught out.

"Lexi I know your scared but you have to try and act normal please were getting out you have to believe that but till then just act normal and don't draw attention to yourself." Tim said desperately grasping Alexis' arms lightly and bending down to see into her eyes where she had her head down.

"'m sorry." Alexis mumbled quietly.

"Oh 'lexis you have nothing to be sorry for its just because your scared." Tim said pulling her into a hug.

Alexis went willingly and held on tight.

"We're getting out Alexis, I'll get you out." Tim said into Alexis' hair.

 _If I'm being honest with_ _myself_ Tim thought _I don't really care if I get out or not as long as she's okay and makes it out, I'll never be any happier_.

And with that thought Tim realized he was falling in love with one Alexis Castle. His Lexi.

 **A/N : okay so I was going to write more for this chapter but I decided it would be better as another chapter. So what do you think is going to happen ?**

 **Thank you to all the people who have reviewed and followed.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.**

It was Monday when Mann finally decided that something wasn't right and decided that it was time for another injection. They were now on week two.

Mann had walked Alexis and Tim down the dark and now damp hallway and slammed the door open to the white room practically shoving them in and the closing the door behind them standing out side. The doctor was in the room with a look of determination in his eyes. He jestured for them to sit on the chairs and they did slowly whilst never looking away from him.

"What are you going to do doctor Waltner ?" Alexis asked with a noticeable shake to her voice.

"Nothing" the doctor said picking up a needle and walking towards them.

Alexis flinched away and Tim shot up from his seat knocking the doctor over and stepping in front of Alexis. "Don't you dare touch her or I swear it will be the last thing you do." Tim said in a deep and dangerous voice that claerly stated he was not joking.

The doctor put his finger over his lips and indicated for him to be quiet, he pointed to his ears and then the door indicating that they were listening.

"You need to be quiet." He whispered. "You think it is just Mann in this place then you are sorely mistaken there is atleast 50 more men in this place. They are training you to be fighters to take down anyone, you will be a one man army. But those ignorant poeple never listen to the doctor oh no to them I'm just some old quack ! I'm not going to inject you with what I did before to make you forget. I don't know when you'll get your memories back and I am forever sorry for that but you should get your memories back but you have each other and thats what you need to remember. I'm going to stick this needle in your arms but not inject you with anything. You will pretend to be confused like you first did. I will go to the police the first chance I will get and I will send help." He finished with a sigh a look of deep remorse.

This rang bells in Alexis' head and she remembered the names on her stomach. "Ask for detective Beckett, Ryan and Esposito I don't know who they are you just have to trust me please doctor Waltner." Alexis pleaded a new determination in her eyes.

Doctor Waltner nodded "I am forever sorry for what I did." He said quietly one last time.

"Now we don't have much time I need you to sit in your seats, you'll feel a little pinch and then close your eyes, this made you unconcious for around 10-20 minutes last time." They did as he said.

Tim went first and try to his word the doctor didn't inject him with anything. When it came to Alexis' turn she hugged him before he had a chance to inject her.

"Thank you." She whispered in his ear.

The doctor smiled and wrapped one arm lightly around her to return the hug "anything deary. You be strong now because life is going to throw you alot of curve balls now, just remember you are strong and you can do it." He said.

"I'll come see you." Alexis whispered back a single tear rolling down her cheek.

"Thank you." He said.

Alexis laid down and felt the slight pinch in her arm and silently counted.

They heard the doctor walk to the door and tell Mann it was done. Then they heard the heavy boots which Mann often wore walk into the room. It took everything in Alexis not to flinch or react in anyway when she felt Mann walk over to her and lightly move her hair away from her face. Alexis was terrified but she didn't move not one muscle.

When it was time to 'wake up' they stirred slowly and looked around as if they were confused.

"What happened ?" Tim asked first.

"You were in an accident we were worried sick." Mann said with a false smile.

Alexis stared at him and couldn't believe that the first time she woke up she thought he was nice and trustworthy, now whenever she sees him all she can think of is disgust. This man disgusts her. His greasy hair and his grey eyes his bulging muscles and his shirt which is always dirty. He had this smile that would make anyone feel sick and she didn't know when it happened but the very thought of him made her sick and deadly scared.

"How are you feeling honey." Mann addressed her next. Alexis looked at him and tilted her lips up in a small smile.

"I'm fine I just feel a but nauseous." She said and she silently awarded herself on the stillness of her voice. They way he called her _'Honey'_ made her feel sick.

"Well I hope you don't feel too sick you've got a big fight tonight your up against 4 guys." He said some of his false trustworthiness slipping.

"Nothing I can't handle." But on the inside she was screaming all she wanted to do was hit him and run but she knew she couldn't that wasn't the plan. Alexis tried to act as normal as she could she tried not to glare at him and she tried not to curl her fists into balls and sometimes trying is enough because she didn't do any of those things. Okay so maybe she glared a tiny bit but you wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't known her which Mann most certainly did not.

Mann nodded and began walking out of the room calling over his shoulder "let the doc finish with you then come to boxing a guard will take you." And then he was gone.

They all sighed a breath of relief when the door closed behind him.

"You need to hold on I will get you guys out but be patient." The doctor said whilst walking to some draws he came back with two scalpels and handed them on each.

The scalpels were small and could easily be hidden they had a cap over the blade for safety. "Hide them in your sock or something but always have these with you. I fear things won't always be as easy as they are now. Now I need you to go before they start getting suspicious." The doctor said with a tilt of his lips.

Tim and Alexis done as they were told and hid the scalpels and left the room where a guard was waiting for them. They were silently led to the boxing room where Mann was waiting with 3 tall men, when they entered the room the all turned to look at them.

"Ahhh here they are my star pupils." Mann said arms open walking towards them. Tim and Alexis froze when he started walking towards them and put his arms around heir shoulders and jostled them a little.

Mann let go of Tim but held onto Alexis walking her over to the three men Tim following closely behind watching Alexis for any signs that she was in danger.

"Gentlemen this is who your men will be fighting tonight." Mann said.

The 3 men looked at Alexis with a disbelieving glance and looked like they were about to laugh. For some reason this angered her and she stepped up to one of them arms crossed and glaring this surprised everyone in the room.

"Just because I'm small does NOT mean I can't put up a fight want me to prove it lets step into the ring if you rather wait till tonight then shut it !" She said angrily. Mann palled her back harshly and she winced. Tim stepped forward next to Alexis to show that he was here for her.

After a short meeting with them in which Alexis and Tim stood silently they were ushered back to their room and lexis' was practically thrown in landing on her side but her arms managed to catch most of her wait. Tim went to the guard but the door was slammed in his face but beofre the door slammed Mann said "You better win tonight or else."

Tim rushed over to Alexis and helped her sit up.

"Lexi are you okay ?" Tim asked clearly worried.

Alexis silently nodded examining her wrist but when she looked up he could see that she was terrified.

"Talk to me Lexi" Tim said.

"Never before have I been so scared of him Timmy. Timmy I just want to go home I may not remember it but I know I have one I know I do." Alexis said and then threw herself into his arms hugging him tightly.

"Timmy don't leave me please even when we get out never leave me please."

"I promise Lexi. I'll never leave my Lexi behind." He said.

And they just hugged for what felt like forever but neither cared because they were getting out and they were going to be together.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer** **: Castle is not mine.**

 _At the precinct :_

It been two weeks since Alexis had been taken, Two weeks since Castle has been Castle, and two weeks since an unbreakable silence fell over the precinct.

Doctor Waltner had managed to leave the base of where everything was happening on an excuse of he needed more supplies. He went o the first precinct he could find which happened to be the 12th precinct. He felt like this was the right one.

One of the many things about Doctor Waltner is that he has learned to trust the instincts.

He walked through the double doors and straight up to the front desk and said in a voice of determination "I need to speak to Detective Beckett, Ryan and Esposito this concerns Alexis Castle and Timothy Waters."

The mans eyes at the front desk went wide and was quickly on the phone to Detective Beckett, he was leading the man upstairs within a minute.

They went into a small elevator and Doctor Waltners heartbeat speed up, he couldn't stop thinking _'my freedom is going to be gone soon.'_

As soon as the elevator doors opened he was surrounded bu people some in uniforms, some were not however there was this one man, this one man with these startlingly blue eyes that don't shine. He could clearly recognize this man as Alexis' father. People were shoving at him and he stopped as soon as he saw this man and walked up to him, everyone following him.

"Your her farther, your Alexis' farther."

The room went silent and there was three detective now standing next to him and his eyes were full of tears. Doctor Waltner knew he had to continue, he knew Alexis was in danger. Tonight fight was different it wasn't her normal fight. it was against four men not three like they said, hell it might even be more, but what she didn't know was that there was a possibility they were going to be armed. She was in danger and he will get her out.

Doctor Waltner looked into Castle's eyes and began speaking again. "I know where she is." There was a gasp of relief from him and a silent sob he was about to thank Doctor Waltner when he held up his hand. "Don't that me of a single thing Mr Castle as I am afraid that she won't be the Alexis you once knew. I was apart of the operation that Alexis was involved in. She witnessed a murder one in which you are looking into but so did Timothy the person who was taken with her. They are part of an operation to be a human weapon." Castle's eyes were full of rage and everyone around him was silent. "She has no memories Mr Castle but they will come back I don't know when but they will. They know I'm coming here Alexis and Tim do and they are waiting for their rescue. I know you will hit me and I will not press charges. They are underground, and they are heavily armed there and over 50 men." Waltner handed over a piece of paper with an address on. "This is where they are." Waltner looked into Castle's eye's and the last thing he saw was Castle fist coming towards his face and doctor Waltner fell to the floor.

Mann came and got them at 6pm and led them to the ring. The room was full of people more then there ever was. Mann led Tim to the ring first and Tim stepped in there was two men in the ring waiting for him. Tim has never fought two people before and Alexis was nervous for him. The fight started and people started cheering.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw a shadow with a gun and she slowly made her way out into the hallway but before she rounded the corner she pulled the scalpel out of her sock and uncapped it.

She quickly rounded the corner and ran to the person who was first and held the scalpel up to her neck.

"Identify yourself." Alexis said in a low voice.

The person was so shocked she didn't know what to do her mouth opened and closed a few times before settling on her answer. Alexis noticed that everyone had lowered their guns.

"Detective Beckett. My name is Kate Beckett."

Alexis realized the name and slowly lowered her scalpel. "Doctor Waltner found you didn't he ? He got us out ?" Alexis said happily. Alexis remembered that she was fighting soon and Tim was still in there. She couldn't leave Tim behind.

"You won't be able to help us now, there is at least a hundred people in that room most of them probably armed. Hide the badges keep those guys around the corner." Alexis motioned to the people with the black helmets, big guns and police written in large writing across their chests. "You take the vest of or at least put it under your top follow me in in a few minutes." Alexis said then left quickly.

Beckett looked around at Esposito and Ryan who were already hiding their badges and putting their vests on under their tops, Beckett looked around and followed suit.

When Beckett entered the room she was shocked at how many people were there. She went and stood close to the front of the ring but subtly.

There was a loud booming voice that came out through some speakers.

"And the crowds favorite, most feared the one you all came here to see Miss Red." Alexis came into the ring and the detectives eyes widened.

Tim saw them and slowly walked over to them and next to Kate. "Are you Kate Beckett ?" He asked subtly and quietly.

"What would make you say that."

"Alexis has your name on her stomach." He said and Kate turned to him shocked.

Tim never looked away from the ring. When Kate turned back to the ring there was four large men in the ring with Alexis, she went to do something but Tim quickly grabbed her arm. "Leave her she is good, don't distract her."

Alexis stood in the middle of the room and took in what she would have to do but she noticed that 2 of the men had knifes. _Knifes !_ They had never fought with weapons before why would they start now ?!

The bell rung indicating that the fight was starting. Alexis went for the guy who was running at her from her left, he was running head first and arms out like he was going to pick her up and drop her on the floor. But he never got close enough he was running full speed at her his head down and when he was close enough Alexis walked around him and he never saw he and swept her legs under him and he fell full force onto the mat and Alexis stomped on his stomach. The next two were already running at her and one had a knife, she went to the one who had the knife first and took his arm and bent it behind his back and took the knife from is hands and elbowed him on the back of the neck and he fell to the floor. Alexis pointed her knife at the man who was going to start running towards he. She needed a minute to think but she didn't have a minute she had seconds. They ran towards her and she didn't know what to do. She search for Tim and found him and his eyes. She took a deep breath. She closed her eyes and for a moment everyone was silent. These men were running at her and she just stopped closed her eyes. She kept her eyes closed but she could hear them she could hear them coming closer and when they were close enough she done something no one had seen before. It looked like a dance move thrown into a deadly dance. She swung round on one leg, he back arched halfway down the knife dropped from her hands. He foot managed to kick the guy in the throat and her fist hit the guy in his stomach and he fell. For that single minute everything was in slow motion then everything sped up. people were yelling guns were going off and Alexis was frozen. No where to run, no where to hide and the next thing she knew she was in Tim's arms.

"Were saved Lexi." Tim whispered. And Alexis hugged back breathing deeply.

"Promise you won't leave ?" Alexis asked one final time.

"Your my Lexi, I could never leave you." Tim said softly looking into her eyes.

In the next moment they were being rushed out of the building and into the back of a car. But not just any car. One Detective Beckett's car.

Alexis and Tim looked at each other, everything was so new except so familiar at the same time.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.**

Everything has changed so much within the 2 minutes since Alexis found Kate and they got out. They were no longer held captive and forced to fight for their lives, they would no longer be kept in a dark room, they would get clean clothes and be fed proper meals. Everything was going to change for them and they were both as equally terrified.

"Are you guys okay back there ?" Kate asked from the front of her cruiser, the siren was on and she was driving as fast as possible but as safely as possible.

Alexis' and Tim's heads were spinning for 2 weeks all they've known is the dark walls of their room and now the too bright sun is shining on them and it is burning their eyes but neither of them speak up. They look out the window, they look at Kate then they look at each other and the keep repeating this patter. At some point they catch each others eyes for longer then before and Tim and Alexis subtly linking their pinkie fingers together.

Kate looks in her rear view mirror at the two of them her eyebrows frowning in concern.

"You know we've all been worried sick about you Alexis, no one has stopped looking for you and your dad has been a wreck, he has barely slept a wink." Beckett paused in her speech to look back at Alexis again but was shocked to find that she was confused.

"Alexis do you know who your dad is ? Do you remember anything ?" Kate asked, tears coming to her eyes.

Alexis thought for a few seconds before looking at Tim and seeing the reassurance in his eyes gave her courage and she turned back to Detective Beckett and gently shook her head no. Beckett let out a gasp.

Beckett slowly pulled into the garage of the 12th precinct and quickly ushered Alexis and Tim into the elevator and pressing the button to the homicide floor. She rubbed her hand across her forehead. This was going to hurt Rick, his own child didn't even know who he was.

Alexis slowly stepped into Tim, Tim was her rock and Tim always kept her safe. It was weird between them but not a bad weird. Within the weeks they had been taken and discovered something wasn't right they had shared so many secrets and hopes and dreams and they have become best of friends that Alexis trusts him with anything including her life.

Alexis suddenly remembered a conversation her and Tim had after a fight discussing what they would hope to do when they get out of here, together of course, Alexis made it very clear wherever Tim goes she goes. She was telling him how she loved to sing and one day she wants to have they courage to sing to an actual audience.

 _Tim stood up and turned the radio on and grabbed Alexis' hand and pulled her up off of the floor where they had been sitting. Tim sat down on the bed and said "come on Alexis I'll be your audience, sing for me." He said encouragingly._

 _"But your the only person here that's kind of awkward." Alexis said shyly._

 _"Then imagine more people, maybe the people on your stomach what do you expect them to look like, imagine them here with us and we'll be your audience." Tim said._

 _Alexis listened to the radio and the song that was on, she had heard it a few times before on the radio and she didn't mind it. Alexis opened her mouth and began to sing._

 _Tim was left breathless because of her singing and he thought she had the voice of an angel. He voice made him love her just a little bit more._

 _When she was done he stood up from the bed and walked over to her clapping enthusiastically and she couldn't help a shy chuckle._

 _"You liked it ?" She asked looking up from when she had ducked her head and she caught sight of his glassy eyes and began to smile._

 _"Alexis, love doesn't even begin to cover of what I thought of it."_

Alexis was brought out of the memory by a ding coming from the elevator and Detective Beckett stepped out first and the Tim and she followed closely behind Tim. There was a crowed of people around the elevator, no one she recognized but they all applauded and some were crying.

They stopped in front of a white board which had her name all over it but not Tim's. There was a tall man standing in front of her with blue eyes full of tears that were continuously leaking onto her cheeks.

Castle went to step forward but Alexis stepped towards Tim and Tim stepped forward crossing his arms and he paused the whole precinct going quiet.

Rick wiped at his eyes and quietly said "Alexis I'm so happy your kay." He tried to step forward again but was stopped but Tim again.

By this point Rick was getting angry an frustrated at not being aloud to talk to his daughter and said in a low tone "Let me speak to my daughter." Castle gently shoved Tim aside and this got Alexis angry and no one could see or predict what was going to happen next. Rick continued to walk towards her after Tim had shoved him, Tim went to try and protect Alexis and shove him back or make him stop moving towards her but he was too late Alexis was already on the move. Alexis had kicked the back of his legs and Castle was now on the floor and she had her scalpel on his throat. Everyone was stunned into silence and people went to move towards them.

Tim stood up and shouted "STOP !" And everyone did but just to look at him as he slowly approached Alexis.

"Alexis put it down." Tim said softly.

"No he hurt you." Alexis said through gritted teeth.

"Lexi I'm okay look at me." Tim said gesturing to himself and Alexis slowly turned her head. Tim looked back down at the man and softly said not wanting Alexis to be in trouble if she was to hurt this man "Identify yourself."

Rick looked to him and said confidently "Richard Castle, your father." Rick said looking Alexis straight in they eyes.

Alexis gasped and quickly got off of him and moved to stand towards Tim but not for long as soon as Castle was standing again Alexis was stood in front of him. Rick wanted to hug her so badly but wasn't sure it was safe so he took what she was giving that is until she started to poke and prod at his face and everyone started frowning at her like she was crazy.

"Timmy I don't see it do you ?" She asked him as she stood next to him and everyone's frowning got a little more pronounced as they continued to frown at them.

"I can, it;s the eyes." He said with a soft smile.

Alexis turned back to Rick and then Tim and they repeated this action a few times before she nodded and walked back to Tim. Everyone was staring at them and they began to get uncomfortable.

"Alexis how are you ?" Castle asked. Since seeing his daughter alive and well he hasn't taken his eyes off of her.

"Me and Tim are fine." She said.

Alexis looked around the room, turning in a full circle and didn't find what she was looking for.

"What are you looking for ?" Kate asked Alexis but she continued to turn around.

"Tim I can't see them." She said. Tim looked into her eyes as he realized what she was talking about.

Tim shrugged and said "That's okay."

"No it isn't." Alexis said crossing her arms disapprovingly.

Castle and Beckett exchanged a quick glance and turned to Alexis asking the question again "What are you looking for ?"

Somehow Alexis had a new form of courage that only lasted a minute but it was enough.

"Since you have found us all you guys have been going on about it me but what about Tim ? He was there , to and worse off then me and now his own parents aren't here. Did you guys even realize he was missing too ? Did you even call his parents ?" Alexis was angry, _How anyone forget Tim like that !?_

"Alexis its fine, I'm sure they tried everything."

Alexis and Tim looked at them and saw their guilty looks which said it all.

"We tried to call your parents we did Timothy, but there was no answer and we left a message and that was a couple of days ago." Beckett said going to take a step forward but Alexis blocked her path from Tim.

Tim put his hand on her shoulder and Alexis looked at him over her shoulder and he shook his head at her and she stepped aside.

"We can give you the address and have a couple of uniforms drop you off." Beckett said but before she could finish she noticed that Tim cringed and he looked towards Alexis, she was red faced and had tears in her eyes.

"Thank you miss but I'm going to have to say no to that offer you see me and Alexis..." Tim started to say but was cut off by Alexis.

"Wherever Tim goes I go, if her goes back to wherever I go. Its a two package deal." Alexis finished with tears gathering in her eyes and a few of them spilling over.

Beckett and Castle looked at each other and they both had the same thought.

 _We may have found them but the battle is far from over._

Alexis yawned and Castle turned to her and said "Come on I'll take you home Pumpkin." Alexis frowned and looked towards Tim and grabbed his hand like it was a lifeline.

Castle looked towards Tim and said "He can come to, come on you must be exhausted." He said and he slowly walked out of the room, with Alexis and Tim following and Beckett not far behind.

Alexis and Tim looked at each other and both of their eyes had the same message.

 _'You'll always have me."_

 **A:N : So what do you guys think ? I can't wait to write the next chapter I have so many ideas !**

 **What do you guys expect for the next chapter ?**

 **Reviews help me write faster and thank you to all the people who have been reviewing.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.**

When they arrived back at the loft Alexis and Tim were slow to walk in as they took everything in. Everything was so new and neither of them ever remembered anything besides the four dark walls that they had slowly began to decorate with their four sharpies.

Castle gently closed the door behind them and Beckett and watched as Alexis and Tim slowly turned around looking at everything when an ecstatic Martha came running down the stairs with her eyes wide and heading for Alexis. Alexis' eyes were wide and panicked and she slowly started to back away Tim coming in front of her and thankfully before anything could happen Rick and Kate stopped Martha and explained everything how Alexis didn't remember anything and how if you get too close she might get defensive and under no circumstance do you hurt or touch Tim.

Martha turned sad eyes to Alexis and she stared at her for a few moments before taking a small step forward and said "I'm Martha Rodgers and I'm your grandmother." Martha felt awkward doing this but knew it had to be done.

Alexis stepped from behind Tim and slowly took a few steps towards her and stared trying to take in every detail. Alexis slowly nodded and everyone but Tim and Alexis let out a breath of relief.

"Are guys hungry ?" Castle asked clapping his hands and rubbing them together and walking towards the kitchen to go through the cupboards. Alexis and Tim slowly followed him and stood at the Castle turned around after not receiving a response he saw they were nodding their heads and he turned back around again to go through the cupboard.

"So what do you guys want ? You can have pasta, sandwiches or a salad or..." Castle stopped talking when he saw the were looking at him in confusion and he had a wave of anger come over him and he said in a low voice through gritted teeth "What did they give you ?"

Alexis and Tim replied at the same time "Beans." They said it like it was nothing, like it was something you heard everyday.

Startled eyes turned to them and Castle slammed the cupboard closed with his anger.

"All they gave was beans ?! Nothing else-" Castle was practically shouting now.

Alexis and Tim slowly walked backwards, Tim's shielding Alexis. Beckett saw this and stopped Castle and said "Castle I think you should stop now." And she indicated to Alexis and Tim who were now a respectable distanced away from him and Tim was now protecting Alexis.

Castle went to step towards them but they stepped back.

Alexis whispered something in Tim's ear and he nodded and turned to Castle and asked, "Sir do you have a gym or anything like that near by ?" Tim asked politely.

Castle nodded and said "Yeah yeah I'll show you." He said and indicated for them to follow him, Beckett, Alexis and Tim following close behind.

When they entered the gym Alexis and Tim were breathless and they walked around looking at all the new equipment. There was treadmills and weights and even a boxing ring and punching bag. They thought this gym had everything.

"I know its not a lot but its something right." Castle said.

Alexis and Tim turned to him and smiled saying 'thank you.'

Castle and Beckett sat down and watched them walk around.

"So what do you want to do first Lex ?" Tim asked looking at Alexis and smiled at how happy she looked.

"The punching bag." Alexis sad with a smile looking back at him.

Castle stood and went to get the boxing gloves for her and when he walked over to give them to her she looked at him with a small smile and a confused furrow between her brows.

"Thank you but I think I'll be fine without them." Alexis said and Castle looked at the gloves and then her.

"But win't you hurt yourself ?" Castle asked.

Alexis smirked at him and shook her head no. She walked back over to the punching bag and started to hit it at full force throwing in a few kicks.

Castle went to sit on the bench next to Beckett with his jaw hanging open. After a few minutes Tim came and sat down next to him.

"She's good you know. She was always the best in the ring she only ever lost one fight but she hated it, she hated having to fight and injure people. Do you know its actually because of her we know who you guys are, she had the idea to right the names of people we trust somewhere no one would ever see. We wrote them on out stomachs." Tim had a small smile at this point. "She's my best friend." Tim said smiling whilst watching Alexis do what she liked and he couldn't help but stare at her.

Castle watched Tim stare at Alexis.

"Will she be okay ?" Castle asked.

"You may not believe this sir but she is perfect she has her moments just like everybody does." Tim said and finally tore his gaze away from Alexis to look him in the eyes.

"Why won't she talk to me ?" Castle asked tears in his eyes.

Neither Castle or Tim realized that Alexis walked over to them and finally talked to him. "Because I'm scared, its not my fault that I don't want to talk someone who was wiped from my memory, I try I really do but you have to realize me and Tim have been in a dark room for two weeks with only each other. You just need to be patient." Alexis said the last bit looking away.

Castle nodded with tears in his eyes "Okay I can do that."

Alexis smiled at him and shrugged one of her shoulders at him and said "You know I'm kind of hungry." Alexis said shyly looking at him.

Castle had a brilliant smile on his face and said "come on I'll make you something."

And with that they all headed upstairs, all prepared to try their hardest and to create new memories.


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.**

Castle made them both a sandwich and the basically inhaled them as Beckett and Castle stood there shocked. Alexis and Tim both pushed their plates away and looked at Castle at the same time and he couldn't help but think how creepy it was.

"Do you guys want some more ?" He asked.

Alexis and Tim nodded enthusiastically and so Castle made them some more and this went on until they were full and smiling happily. Beckett had a small smile on her face and looked at Castle who was staring happily at Alexis who was swinging slowly on the bar stool chair and Tim was looking at her softly. When she almost fell off of her seat Tim reached out and grabbed her arm to stop her from falling and she winced, this got the attention of everyone and Castle was around the counter with Beckett within seconds. Alexis pulled her arm away and looked down avoiding eye contact from everyone.

"Lex let me see." Tim said quietly. Alexis nodded and slowly moved her arm away form her body so Tim could see it. Tim lightly cradles her arm and pulls up her sleeve where a dark blue and purple bruise has formed. Tim frowned and looked up at Alexis with slight anger in his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me." Alexis shrugged "Lex why didn't you tell me you fought you could have made it worse, I could have helped." Tim had now dropped her wrist and Castle and Beckett watched stunned.

"Because you know nothing would have changed, I would have fought either way and I know if you knew you would do something stupid and get yourself hurt." Alexis said with angry tears rolling down her cheeks.

"How'd it happen ?" Castle asked quietly interrupting their fight. Alexis turned to him and so did Tim. Alexis looked away and wiped at her cheeks where her tears had spilled.

"There was a meeting in the gym with these scary looking guys and Alexis had to stand there and listen as Mann praised her on something she hated doing, her fighting, that is until one guy said she didn't look like much and lets say Alexis verbally gave him a piece of her mind, Dunn was angry and practially threw her into our room." Tim said not looking at Castle.

"'Lexis" Castle said on a breath but Alexis mistook it as disappointment or something as equally upsetting.

"What was I supposed to do !" Alexis yelled shocking everyone, Tim went to her side and put a gentle hand on her shoulder, Alexis' tears fell ast as she let go of some of her built up feelings. "They had no idea what I went through and they had NO idea what I do to people and then they had the audacity to say 'I don't look like much' to hell with them so I gave them all a piece of my mind and what do I get I literally get thrown into my room and I was told I had better win that fight." Alexis looked away breathing heavily, she wiped at her eyes and looked back at them with a scary determination. "So I did and that's when you guys came and now I'm here." And then she couldn't take it anymore she broke down in tears and Tim wrapped his arms securely and protectively around her.

Castle and Beckett both had tears in their eyes and Castle put his hands over his mouth trying to stop any noise coming out.

"Alexis." Castle said quietly and stepped forward "Alexis I want you to understand something very important do you hear me ?" Alexis looked at him from Tim's embrace and nodded her head "I'm proud of you for surviving and I understand that you never wanted to fight especially to survive but it takes a whole lot of strength both inside and out to survive all of that and be okay. Alexis your going to be okay and you'll never have to prove yourself to anyone anymore because you are an intelligent persona and a loving and caring one and the day someone doesn't believe that about you means that that person is not worth your time. Alexis I love you and there are loads of people who love you and that's all you'' ever need to know and hopefully all you'll every need to have."

Alexis smiled and slowly stepped away from Tim to lightly embrace Castle in a hug only to step back after a few seconds to whisper "thank you."

Its been an hour since lunch and the very emotional fight/talk and Castle was looking at Tim and Alexis talk in the living room until Beckett decided to give Castle quite the scare and crept up beside him and whispered in his ear "staring is creepy Castle." Castle let out a girlish scream which made Alexis and Tim look back with wide eyes and Beckett laughing at him.

Beckett walked over to Alexis after she had finally stopped laughing "hey Alexis how long have you been wearing those clothes ?" Beckett asked.

"Ummm we got given them a few days ago." Alexis said biting her lip trying to remember the day but it was difficult considering she didn't even know what day it was. "What day is it ?"

Beckett gave a small startle at the question "May 16th."

Alexis frowned at the date and nodded her thanks.

"Alexis why don't you go change and have a shower ?" Beckett asked, thinking if she were in Alexis' place she would already be in her pajamas after at least an hour long shower.

"I don't have any other clothes." Alexis said as if it were obvious. Beckett closed her eyes and the pain caused her a pain that she knew Castle was feeling but she felt the pain for Alexis.

"Alexis you live here you have a whole wardrobe of clothes upstairs." Beckett said and smiled at the shine in Alexis' eyes and the small smile that came over her face. Alexis looked to Tim and Tim almost laughed at the look on her face. "Come on I'll show you." Beckett said indicating for Alexis to follow her which she did a little nervously albeit. "Castle why don't you find something for Tim to wear." Beckett said over her shoulder as she ascended the stair with Alexis close behind her. Castle indicated for Tim to follow him and he did willingly, Castle gave Tim a pair of jogging bottoms that have always been to small for him and an old shirt. Both were too baggy on the skinny 18 year old but they would do for now.

Meanwhile, in Alexis room Alexis was walking around trying to take everything in. Beckett walked over to her dresser drawers and rummaged through them pulling out everything Alexis would need. Alexis frowned as she came and stood next to Beckett who was trying to find her pajamas but came across a draw that was filled with random things some clothes and some things like cinema tickets ect, and what looked to be like a diary which she picked up curiously and went to the bed to read it turning to her last entry.

 _Dear diary,_

 _Things have changed quite a bit since I have last written in here well lets just say I'm in danger and hopefully someone will over look this well because this is my diary and no one needs to know that I've been lying to dad since I started hanging out with 'friend' because every time I say that well I either go to the library or get something to eat, hell I've even started going to the movies by myself. I'm getting distracted my point is i'm in danger and i'm scared. This is going to be a short entry and that's okay I've written enough for everyone to understand and hopefully never have to read this diary._

Beckett turned around and went to hand Alexis her pajamas when she saw she was reading something and had a single tear going down her cheek and she was biting her nail.

"What ya reading over there ?" Beckett asked coming to sit next to Alexis.

"My diary it's actually pretty sad, I'm reading my last entry." Alexis wiped her eyes and sniffled. Alexis handed it to Beckett on the page she was reading and Beckett looked at it but not taking it.

"No its your diary, your secrets and its your privacy." Beckett said pushing it back to her. Alexis smiled and took the pajamas from Beckett and started getting changed, Beckett went to leave the room until she saw the names on her stomach and said "why don't you wash those off."

Alexis looked up and looked back down at her stomach "I'm not ready yet."

Beckett nodded and went to walk out of the room only to be stopped once again.

"What was I like before I was taken ?" Alexis asked as she continued to get her pajamas on.

"You were sweet, kind, always looked out for everybody you loved and you were smart, and fierce and passionate but that's more of a question for your dad." Beckett finished and Alexis nodded and walked to Beckett and hugged her.

"Thank you for getting us out." Alexis said as she continued to hug Beckett, once the shock had worn off Beckett hugged her back.

After a few minutes Kate said "Why don't we go back downstairs I'm sure your dad has paced a whole in the floor." Beckett chuckled and true to her word when the were downstairs Rick was pacing but so was Tim so when they reached the bottom of the stairs both Beckett and Alexis frowned at them as the hadn't heard them come down. Alexis smirked and quietly tip toed to Tim and jumped on his back causing him to jump and let out an almost squeal causing Alexis to laugh and Rick to stop pacing.

"I'm gonna get you for that Lex." Tim said trying to reach her as she clung to his back.

"How do you plan to do that Timmy ol' pal when I'm on ya back." Alexis said laughing and hiding her face on the back of his neck.

Castle watched as Alexis and Tim were playing in the living room and Castle couldn't help but smile at them.

Tim had a smile on his face that he only ever had for Alexis and she couldn't see it but it was there. "That's it." Tim said walking over to the couch and falling backwards onto it causing Alexis to squeal and then laugh.

"Tim get off of me." Alexis said as Tim refused to move.

"Nope, Nu-uh not until you apologies." Tim said.

"No not happening."

"Then I guess I have no choice." Tim said as he reached down to grab Alexis' foot and began tickling the red head which earned him some very high pitched giggles and squeals until he finally gave up.

"Okay okay, gosh Tim stop I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Alexis said out of breath as Tim finally rolled off of her and looked back to her with a smile.

"Your mean and evil." Alexis said glaring at him.

"Well your sneaky and diabolical so I guess were even." Tim replied and they just sat there staring at each other that is until Castle and Beckett decided to jump on either side of them and squish them in the middle.

"So movie time." Castle said and they all sat down watching a movie.

They were a family no matter how messed up they all were.


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.**

It was around 10 when everyone decided it was time to go to bed.

Alexis stood up and went for the stairs with Tim following her, Castle and Beckett exchanged a confused look.

"Uhh Tim where ya going ?" Castle asked walking over to them with a frown on his face.

"To bed sir." Tim said politely.

Alexis and Tim continued to walk up the stairs but Castle grabbed Tim's arm stopping him from following Alexis the only thing he forgot was how protective Alexis is of Tim and he quickly found himself with his arm behind his back.

"Okay okay let go Alexis let go." Castle said trying to get her to release his arm.

"Me and Tim have slept in the same bed for the whole time we were there and that is not going to change now. We are going to sleep now, night." Alexis said letting go of his arm.

Alexis let go of his arm and continued to go upstairs to sleep with Tim following her, Tim looked over his shoulder and gave an apologetic smile and shrug of his shoulders and went to follow her. Castle ran a hand through his hair and let out a deep sigh. Beckett walked over to him and gave him a hug and Castle happily returned it.

"No offence but you look like you've aged since Alexis was taken." He laughed at that and pulled away from her.

"Thank you." He whispered.

Meanwhile upstairs in Alexis' room they were sitting on Alexis bed legs crossed and facing each other and talking.

"You shouldn't have done that." Tim said and Alexis looked down.

"I thought he was going to hurt you." Alexis said quietly.

"I know."

"I want him to understand that your my only friend, your my best friend and we haven't been not together for a while and well I need you Timmy." Alexis said with a tear in her eye.

"I know Lexis but you need to remember he went through something as well, it may have been different but he went through something as well. He's just trying to help and right now he will be protective of you." Tim said and Alexis sighed and nodded.

"Lets talk about something else." Alexis said.

"What do you want to do tomorrow ?" Tim asked with a happy smile. No matter what Alexis wanted to do Tim would follow her whenever she wanted, she was his Lexie.

"I dunno what do you want to do ?" Alexis asked.

"No fair I asked you first I know you know what you want to do because you have that glint in your eye, so tell me Lexie what do you want to do ?."

Alexis smiled brightly at him "I want to leave the loft and go somewhere, anywhere, just walk ya know ? Is that weird I mean I know nothing about where we are." Alexis smiled and looked away once again.

Tim bent down at a funny angle so he could see her face and she smiled at him. "That sounds perfect." He said and Alexis smiled and stretched her legs out. Alexis tapped her lap just above her knees and Tim laid his head down and Alexis played with his hair.

"Tim why don't we ever talk about you or what your home was like ?" Alexis asked.

"Because I don't know anything about home and there's no point in doing what I want to do." Tim said.

"What do you want to do ?" Alexis asked looking over at him.

"I want to do whatever you do Lex." Tim said shyly and blushed a little. Alexis smiled at this and laid back with Tim joining her on the pillows. They stared at each other for ages until someone neither of them knew fell asleep but it was okay because the were together and that's all they both needed.


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.**

It was 5am when Alexis and Tim woke up. IT was like clockwork and it was now apart of them, they had only been doing this for a few weeks but to them it felt like forever. They both had a silent agreement to continue doing their work out until they were comfortable enough to not continue their work outs, they both needed some form of familiarity. Castle wouldn't understand, he wouldn't know how scary it was for them to be here and for them to be experiencing all of this knew stuff and it was scary and everyday they found out something new and they experienced new things and they done it together, side by side just like they always had done.

Alexis and Tim went downstairs but the problem was neither of them remembered how to cook and they needed breakfast. Alexis and Tim looked at each other and then they turned their attention to Castle's room. They didn't want to wake him but they didn't know what to do.

"Should we ask him ?" Alexis said and Tim shrugged his shoulders not really wanting to get involved. Alexis rolled her eyes, Tim always followed her and she just wanted for once for him to decide what to do no matter how small or big she wanted to follow him for once.

Alexis walked towards Castle's room and looked around. His room was a mixture of silver blues and navy grey/ blue. Castle was sprawled out like a starfish and his mouth was open and every now and hen he would snore a little.

Alexis walked over to his bed and gently shook him and he sleepily opened his eyes. He was confused for a few seconds wondering what was happening until he aw Alexis and he was scared for a moment was something wrong ? But then he realized that she was smiling a little.

"What time 's it ?" He asked rubbing the sleep from his eyes and sitting up stretching and letting out a deafeningly loud yawn.

"Just after 5." Alexis said and Castle frowned.

"Why you up." Castle said and groaned.

"Me and Tim were going to go down to the gym and work out a bit but we need breakfast and the funny thing is neither one of us remembers how to cook." Alexis ended with a smile.

Castle felt something inside of him warm up at the idea of his little girl coming to him for help even if it was just to make her breakfast he would take that over her leaving any day.

Castle softly smiled at her as he got up and Castle wrapped an am around her shoulders and led her out of his room. "What are you guys going to do in the gym ?" Castle asked, they had only been back for a day but last night after they had one to bed Beckett had explained to him that they may need space and that they may do things they didn't use to and they may still go to the gym because it was a familiar thing to do and Castle nodded his understanding. So his is him trying to understand and trying to connect.

"Well we were going to do some running and weights and some boxing later on, we can't do some of the to her stuff because you don't have some of the things we used to do." Alexis said.

"Like what ?" Castle asked as he moved around the counter to get eggs, bacon and bread out of the fridge as Alexis and Tim sat down on the kitchen counter chairs.

"Well we used to have a range and we would practice firing with a gun and we would also practice out knife throwing skills and tactics things like that. We got pretty good at it to but since you don't have that sort of thing here we just have to do what we can." Alexis shrugged her shoulders and watched as her dad began cooking. Quickly getting his phone out to text Beckett.

 **Castle : Why are they awake at 5am.**

Castle put his phone down with the message still up and Alexis and Tim read the message.

"Thank you by the way we know it's early but we won't wake you up tomorrow we can learn everything this afternoon or something."

"No no I don't mind it's just I'm not used to being up before the sun but feel free to wake me up anytime." Castle said and he and Alexis smiled at each other.

He quickly finished their food and slid two plates towards them and after they had eaten the got bottles of water and went down to the gym.

Alexis and Tim stood in the doorway of the blissfully empty gym and they both went straight to the treadmill and started to run, after running for an hour they moved onto weights for a half an hour before taking a break.

"Do you till want to go on a walk today ?" Tim asked her and Alexis quickly turned her head to him and smiled.

"I would love to but maybe in a few hours."

"What do you guys call this ?" Castle said from the doorway smiling with Beckett closely behind. Alexis and Tim looked up and smiled at him.

"Hey we've been at it for an hour and a half and what have you been doing ? Sitting on ya ass for that time." Alexis joked and Beckett and Castle smiled at them.

They were both wearing sweats and had a bottle of water in their hands. Beckett's hair was tied back.

Alexis pointed to their bottles and asked "Are you guys planning on joining us ?" They both nodded and Alexis smiled. "You should get warmed up if you want to join us in the ring." And at that Alexis and Tim stood up and headed towards the ring.

Alexis and Tim bumped both of their closed fists together and went to opposite ends of the ring and they slowly circled. Alexis stepped forward and went to punch him and as he went to block it she switched tactics and kicked him.

It isn't like it was before, they weren't forced to fight for their lives so they were gently with each other.

Tim stumbled backwards and Alexis used that as her advantage and stepped up to him and put a leg behind his stumbling one and he fell and Alexis pinned him down. Tim sighed loudly and tapped his hand indicating for her to get off which she did quickly.

"What did I tell you Tim." Alexis said stepping forward and behind him placing her hands on his hips and turning him slightly. She nudged his left foot forward with hers and got his arms, "Tense you muscles for a minute." She said and he did what she asked Alexis got his arms and held them in front of his face defending himself and put his left arms slightly in front of his right. "This is the stance you start with if you're confident enough that you've found a weakness you strike." At this Alexis grabbed his arm and quickly pushed it out like he was hitting someone. "You don't go down, even if it's the last thing you do, do you understand ?" When Tim nodded Alexis stepped away and they started again and ending in the same way.

"You're just way better then I am at this." Tim said and Alexis nodded in understanding and walked out of the ring and towards Beckett.

"You have a go." Alexis said and gently pushed her towards the ring.

"Alexis no I don't think I should." But it was too late she was already in the ring.

It was a different ending this time as Beckett was the one pinned down.

"You won't pin me down because you're scared you will hurt me but you have no trouble fighting someone you have no emotional attachment to that's why you lose." Alexis said leaving on the mat that was raised from the floor and everyone looked at her. "You need to learn to distance you're left when you fight that's why you always come so close and that's why you always get hit. You look at them and you see a human, you don't look at them and see someone who _will_ hurt you if you don't prevent it. Tim you're a good fighter and I see you have potential but trust me people will hurt you and you can only take so much before you snap." Alexis looked at them all and walked away.

"Lex you know that's not true." Tim said quickly standing and releasing Beckett."

Alexis quickly turned around and it was the first time that everyone saw how exhausted she was both physically and mentally but she had a fire in her eyes and everyone was entranced, no one could look away.

"You think I don't want to believe that you think I want to think people won't you or me but face it Tim look at the reason we're like this really look what people do, because of them we've been beaten and we have done the beating. I remembered last night, I remembered my first night and I remember how I was almost beaten to death how it hurt to breath and how I just wanted them to kill me but they wouldn't they wanted to keep me around to turn me into a fighter, to turn me into this. Tim you don't know what it's like to be alone in that room you don't know what it was like to have to heal yourself, Tim you don't understand, you do to a reasonable amount because you were down there but you weren't down there when everything was twice as bad when Mann was meaner and I was a caged animal forced to fight for my life..." Alexis paused and took a deep breath, "Tim I almost killed a person my first few nights and I ill never know if they're okay and I will never be able to look in that mirror again and see an innocent person. Tim I'm not me anymore. But you, you had it easier and you were never alone and you won't know what it's like to slowly lose your mind. I know I was only in that room for a few more days than you but trust me it feels like an eternity when you know you have loved ones and you've already said goodbye." And with that Alexis was gone and everyone and tears running down their cheeks.

Alexis Castle wasn't herself anymore, and she may never be again.

And for the first time everyone got a glimpse an dhow much she was hurting.


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.**

Alexis never went back to the loft after walking out of the gym. She walked straight out onto the busy New York streets with no idea where she is going ut she isn't thinking.

It's hard she thinks they don't understand and it's most probably not helping that I'm not talking but it's hard. It's hard knowing you've beaten people just to survive and it's hard to know that you were once someone so different, so innoccent.

She thinks of the person she was before all of this happened. But she wasn't social, she never had any friends and she knew this because of her diary. The last entry that made her cry. She thinks she was smart. She must have meant the world to her family though judging by the way her dad looks at her like she is the most precious thing in the world.

She is hurting knowing that she had all these memories and great times that shaped her to be the person she was and now they shaped her to be a fighter and she is completely different she is guessing by the way her dad looks at her when she is fighting, like he lost something. A small part of her wishes she was still there where she could stick to everything she knew and she didn't have to involve everyone in her pain. Where she only had to stick to wha she knew and everyone saw her for what she is, a fighter. Where she didn't have the pressure to remember old memories or have the pressure to be who she was and not who she is now. When she was in the dark room it didn't bother her that no one understood becasue it was just her and Tim and that was okay but she wanted him to be free of this pain and misery which he was. He was free and she was that constant reminder.

Alexis looks up and sees a familiar man crossing the road and followed him quickly ignoring all the honking cars at her and followed him into the park. It was Mann.

He sat down on a bench and faced her, he planned this but Alexis didn't care though she sat down next to him.

"Hello Alexis." He said in that cool voice the one that made her skin crawl and wanting to make her take a step back.

"Mann."

"How have you been adapting to normal life."

"Really, after all you've done to me that's what you ask." Alexis said anger quickly rising, all she wanted was an explanation. When it was onvious he wasn't going to answer any of her questions she sighed giving in "not well."

"Talk to me Alexis how are you."

"I don't think you get to know that so stay away from me." She growled and stood to walk away but he was faster and grabbed her arm tightly, enough to hurt her as she tried to squirm away but he tightened his hold.

"You listen to me as much as you don't like it I'm the only one who understands and I think you know that to, I can just as easily take you again but I'm chosing not to so why don't you ask yourself why."

"Alexis" A voice yelled over to her and Detective Esposito and Ryan were running towards her and she looked into Mann's eyes. "You alright Alexis ?" He asked glaring at the man who dropped his hand no longer holding her arm and he had this smile on his face that made him look like he was in pain.

Alexis had a choice to make either tell them and Mann would be locked away forever Alexis would have the chance to be normal and never fear him or she could have him to go to to talk to no matter what he did to her he was right he understood her and she never knew if she would ever find that again.

"Everything is fine I tripped and he caught me." She smiled and she saw that look in his eyes like she had just helped him in his plan and she knew she would regret this. She turned and walked away ignoring the vices behind her and going in search of the loft. This wasn't a smart thing to do, to go on a walk in an unfamiliar city where she knew where nothing was, she didn't ever know her way home and she couldn't use familiar places because she didn't pay attention to where she was going so she just walked trusting her instincts. When she couldn't take it anymore she found a phone box dialing 9-1-1 she asked to be put throught to Detective Beckett.

"Hi Detective Beckett please could you come and pick me up ?" Alexis asked looking around her at all the angry faces of people as they walk past her and she felt a small panic rise, why did she lie to those Detecives ? They could have protected her they could have stopped him.

"I'm on my way where are you ?"

"I don't know I went on a walk to cool off and I didn't pay attention to where I was going and now everyone looks so angry and I don't know what to do and I can't-"

"Shhh Alexis it's okay tell me what you see."

"I see a starbucks and ook store and a resturant."

"Okay I know where you are I want you to walk over to the bookstore for me okay ?"

"Okay."

"I'm nearly there." Beckett said 5 minutes later, they had stayed on the phone ven though neither of them had spoken.

It was a minute later when Beckett pulled up outside of the book store and Alexis quickly got in and let the tears flow.

"Detective I think I made a mistake." And then Alexis just cried.


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.**

Alexis told Beckett everything. How she let the man get away, how she lied to Esposito and Ryan and how she didn't know what to do.

"Detective I just feel so isolated, no one can understand and no matter how hard anyone tries you don't know the pain I am going through."

"Alexis maybe if you tried talking to someone maybe we can try to understand."

Alexis looked around the car and mumbled "Sometimes I think it would be easier if I had just stayed in that dark rook, that everything wouldn't be so complicated and how eventually everyone would move on, I know I am loved and I know people care but just think about all the trouble I am causing just because I was found. Think about how things would be if I was never found."

Kate looked at her out of the corner of her eye, "Alexis if we had never found you, you might be dead or badly hurt with the way you had to survive, your dad would never be the same, none of us would be the same. Alexis I know you're finding it difficult to adjust but it'll get better. When you go back to school you'll have your friends and you'll be learning again. Alexis you should have seen the way your face lights up when you learn something new, you always had this thirst for knowledge. You were passionate and I know it doesn't seem like it know but Alexis things will get better."

Alexis was crying as she thought how she had read that last passage in her diary and how she didn't have any friends and no one knew. She just wanted to escape this pain. To her it was a special type of torture, everyone with their hopeful stares and full smiles as they slowly dim throughout the day because she isn't the same, because she can't remember. And to repeat that process everyday. She just wants to lock her self away and even though she feels isolated now she wouldn't mind leaving, being alone, not having to see people lose hope everyday.

Alexis looked up and at Beckett and smiled, it was a completely false smile but at this moment she is going by her own rules, if you seem confident people will believe it. "You're right maybe when I'm back at school."

They arrived back at the Castle loft and Alexis couldn't look at anyone she couldn't so she went to her room and put a chair behind the door so she knows she would have some privacy. She pulled out her diary where she had hid it, where she had taped it under her desk. And she read from the beginning, wanting to know more about herself, needing to know about herself.

 _Dear diary,_

 _So I got this today because a lot of the self help websites say it is helpful to write your feeling down and stuff like that but I can't help but think I'm a lost cause that no one could ever help me. I know I'm not helping myself because no one knows how bad things are and how much I just want to finish school and escape. High school is like a cage, forcing you to stay as it sucks all of your happiness away and leaving you there gasping for breath._

 _I'm feeling more and more alone, more and more like I'm never going to make it how maybe just maybe I should make a stand and leave this place. I wonder sometimes what it would be like if we never lived in New York but instead a quiet town where hopefully people don't judge._

 _I was at school today and I heard them whisper their insults about me behind my back. I sit in front of them in Biology. I heard as they said how ugly I am and how I am never going to make it. I think maybe their right, I'm never going to make it and they are right I am ugly. Who would ever want someone with pale skin and red hair. I want to be lawyer or a doctor but I feel as if I can't no more that if I stay here I'm going to have nothing left I'm going to be nothing, like I am just going to never leave home, never experience anything. Never experience love._

 _I'm sad and I'm stuck._

 _I just want to leave._

There is multiple tear marks on the page, new ones and old ones and Alexis can't help but think that these feeling aren't knew so why does it feel so unexpected, that she isn't meant to feel this way but Alexis knows now that she has felt like this for a while and she has nothing to worry about. The old Alexis would never make her stand or her leave. But she isn't the same Alexis because this Alexis has been through a lot more then anyone will ever know and this Alexis isn't scared of a fight and she sure as hell won't back down from one either it's just going to take a while for people to see that.

She suddenly has a lot of anger and she can't sit still anymore she has to do something, so she grabs her gyms stuff and heads back down and when she walked out the door with everyone giving her curious glances and asking where she went, she didn't turn around just simply replied with "I'm going to the gym." And she closed the door. This is not like a fight she has ever fought before but she will win.

No one knows what she has been through and the might never know but she can still use what she learnt. If you seem confident people believe it.


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.**

It was 1am when Alexis Castle woke up gasping for breath in the dead of night. Tim slept through and she couldn't have been anymore grateful. She was having a dream that her dad was walking out the door and telling her to lock it and not open it for anyone. No one. And then it was like everything had fast forward and Detective Beckett was in their home, her apartment had blown up. Alexis was so confused, she didn't understand. Was it real or a figment of her imagination she couldn't decide and it was too late to ask anyone.

She slowly got out of bed and was happy her floor was carpet and she quietly walked over to her desk and got out her diary that she had been slowly reading. Trying to understand her life, how she thought, how she reacted, what she was like but she was only a few pages in and she couldn't understand anything except she was lonely. She grabbed her diary and pen and slowly walked out of her room, hoping Tim would stay asleep. She loved him she did but she wasn't sure if she loved him as a friend or more but she had things to sort out first such as who the hell she was. Tim doesn't seem as worried as she does and she doesn't understand, she doesn't understand how he could be so calm. How he always put her first or how no one reported him missing, how no one is looking for this amazing being she has come to know.

She left a crack in the door not wanting to wake him up and slowly tiptoed down stairs and to the kitchen counter placing her diary down and then turning on a light. She knew the light wouldn't wake anyone up. Everyone was at least 2 rooms away and the light shouldn't flood through. She sat down and opened it to the first blank page she could find and wrote at the top : _After the dark room._

She put pen to paper and the words just flowed and she felt empowered, how she could write it anyway she saw it and nobody could stop her, she was in control now.

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I don't really know how to write this and I most definitely don't know how to react but I have been doing this for a while is seems so I'm going to give it a try starting from the beginning._

 _I'm Alexis Castle and I was kidnapped apparently. No not apparently I was. I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that nothing was real during the time I was in the dark room, how someone took it upon themselves to wipe me of my memories and I still understand why, why they took me, why they took my memories and why aren't they coming back. I feel lost here how everyone expects me to be okay but I am far from it._

 _I had a dream about Detective Beckett's apartment blowing up and I can't decide if it really happened or not. I can't ask anyone because they are all asleep and I'm struggling to make sense of the most simplest things and I don't know what to do. It's so overwhelming. I woke up gasping for breath._

Alexis had to stop writing before she started to cry. It didn't matter if she cried, she had cried plenty of times in her life but she knew once she started to cry she wouldn't be able to stop and she didn't know if that was a door she was willing to open. Sometimes she wanted to run and just see where that took her, where she would end up and whether she would be okay. It was in that moment Alexis Castle wanted to be free. She just wanted to walk the city with no idea where she was going and make her way back home. She didn't know the city and she didn't really know anyone in it. She wanted to see Dr Waltner and she wanted to see the letters she wrote because she knew she wrote them even if it is just a suspicion.

She gathered her diary and pen and with a deep sigh closed her diary leaving it for another day but she had a thought and she wanted answers so she quietly walked over to dads room and opened the door to find him there with Detective Beckett, a line of pillows going down the middle and she smiled. She walked over to Beckett's side of the bed and gently knelt down in front of her and gently nudged her. Her eyes slowly blinked open and she looked around confused.

"Alexis ?" She whispered sleepily.

" Can I ask you a question ?"

She nodded sitting up ever so slightly trying to stay awake.

"Did I write letters to you guys when I went missing ?"

Beckett nodded again and this time she fully sat up and went to get out of bed and Alexis stood up and they both left the room together quietly.

"Do you remember writing the letters ?" Beckett asked as they sat down on the sofa facing each other legs crossed.

"No just a suspicion. Can I see these letters ?"

Beckett nodded and then there was a pause.

"Did your apartment really blow up ?" Beckett nodded and opened her mouth to say something but Alexis beat her to it, "I had a dream about it, random bits not like a movie just random things and dad was telling me to close and lock the door and to not let anyone in and then you were in my room and your apartment had blown up."

Beckett nodded again not really saying anything but Alexis put that down to the fact she was tired.

"I feel so lost sometimes." Alexis confessed looking at her hands resting in her lap.

"Why ?" Kate asked gently.

"I don't know. I feel like everyone is waiting for me to be okay again and I don't know if I ever will be."

"Don't worry everyone is different and everyone is okay with whoever you want to be."

"You don't understand."

"I don't but I'm trying." She said sleepily.

"Thank you" Alexis whispered. "I'm reading my diary."

"Yeah ?" Alexis nodded "And hows that going."

"There's a lot of tears but its going okay."

"If you ever want to talk I'm here."

"I know."

They were both startled when they heard a loud thump and then the quick opening of a door and a very sleepy but panicked Tim at the top of the stairs with a hand resting over his racing heart when he saw Alexis was okay.

"Thank God you're okay. I woke up and you weren't there and I panicked but you're okay and now I think I'm having a heart attack."

Alexis smiled "Go back to bed Tim I'll be back up in a minute."

Beckett smirked at their interaction and when she saw Tim leave she turned to whisper to Alexis "Whats going on between you and Tim ?"

"Nothing" Alexis said and sound slightly annoyed with the question. When she saw Beckett raised an eyebrow at her and she was smirking Alexis said "I like him I really, really do but I don't think he sees it or he doesn't want to be with me I just don't know."

"Really you think he doesn't like you. Lex he is head over heels for you."

"You really think ?" Alexis asked shyly.

"Yes I do."

Alexis sat there quietly and bit her lip. After a while she excused herself to go back to bed with Beckett doing the same thing once she saw Alexis walk up the stairs and heard her bedroom door closed.

All the while Alexis was thinking, does he really like me like that ?


End file.
